play

Dear Zack. Thank you. For the first time in five years at this house, I played in the backyard. For most of the day, we tossed the little yellow basketball against the garage and ate cookies on chaise lounge and rolled cars down the driveway. I am so grateful for your spirit.

dream

four friends leave dinner late saturday night
full and satisfied with the food and company

the night is slow, unusually hot for june.
half way home, on the moonlit drive,
under canopy of trees
the question is asked...

"what would do you desire to do with your life...
other than what you are doing now?"

a round robin begins...
and the answers flow easily:

a major league baseball player
a professional race card driver
a designer of fine resorts and destinations
a writer, a novelist, a poet - an artist
a stay-at-home-mom
a stay-at-home-dad
a canadian wilderness guide
a back-up singer for elvis costello
a back-up singer for anybody

there is a sudden lightness
and the dreams that fill the car
lift the heavy summer air

and then silence for the next six blocks
each friend quietly lists the things
that will keep each dream from happening:

businesses and employees...
promises to spouses...
that mortgage...
that second mortgage...
that college tuition...
parents to care for,
pets to care for...
health insurance and salaries and
sons and daughters...

and that fear in the pit of your stomach
when you try to fall asleep.

the little things...

silly and slapstick
goofy and gorgeous
sometimes the internet is my favorite friend...
here are some place i truly enjoy...

welcoming the pop culture brilliance of elle and mike.
devouring the dark side.
collecting my secrets.
cherishing my sweet dear friend.

gone

because i don't want to know you everyday.
i don't want to suffer the details of your obsessions.
the obsessions you so easily release
once they leave your lips, invading my ears.
and now they wrestle inside my head.

i don't want to know you today.
i want that secret shore.
the one i dream of fleeing to
in the middle of the night
when no one can tell me "goodbye"
"i will miss you..."

i want that simple life.
the one where the grass is green
around my private cottage on the coast.
the one where i can't hear the phone ring
above the waves dancing sweetly on the sand.

because today i want to be gone.
alone on the airplane,
nestled next to a novel,
sleeping pills in my pocket.

but tomorrow i will be here.
because i have too much to say.
and even for a moment,
i am far too afraid to slip away.